Love. I have just used the simplest word with the most complicated meaning. A word which mankind based the existence of life on. Love, something any human would want to talk about, however the talk would leave him unsatisfied, disturbed and troubled. The more one wants to understand, the more distant he would go from it.
I am done with my take on Love. A few years ago I came across the below verse of Mir. The first verse of Mir’s poetry, just one verse was enough for me to fall for Mir. Even if he would have never written any other verse after this, I would still consider him one of the greatest poets.
Ibteda-e-ishq hai rota hai kya // Agay agay dekhiye hota hai kya – Mir Taqi Mir.
[ Ibteda -e-ishq = Beginning of love ]
I need some drama. Love without tragedy and trouble is like sky without the stars.
Love has hit me many a times, I have been in and out of love infinite times. But I remember the first time I felt it. When I was a child, I would just fall for any one good-looking and fair skin. I had no issues compromising on other qualities like character and personality.
(probably 8 years ago) : I enter my classroom like a cool dude. I had a fixed place, no one would sit there, by order from my principal. It was the first bench in the corner. That way I would not disturb others, though the attempt to put me aside was a failure. I managed to disturb the most important person in the class, the teacher. I just wouldn’t let her teach. I would look out of the door, say Hi to friends passing by, sleep, stare, draw, write poetry. Amongst the various advantages, one was special, all good students choose to sit in the first row. Pretty girls are most of the times good students or bad students appearing to be good.
So this good student, a girl off course was forced to sit besides me. She was new to class. Though my facial expressions were enough for anybody to figure out that I am not the best guy to share space with. At first I choose to ignore, reverse psychology, good-looking girls dont like anyone ignoring them, that way they would want to know why one is ignoring. Creates interest. By now I knew she was fair, very fair. In those days Gadi detergent powder had a tag-line “Phele istimal karo, phir vishwas karo”, immediately it struck me, I guess she has bath with Gadi Detergent. So white.
Spotless cheeks, sharp nose, deep eyes, brown toned hair with golden highlights(this was natural hair), average height, confident posture, smart talk, off course fair, (I don’t have color issues, but still.) Pink lips with vaseline on it, with some gloss to cover the vaseline jelly. Big ears she had. Rabbit like. In short she was Hot.
Our first conversation : Can I borrow a pencil ? I asked. She gave me this weird look as if dont you have some good reason to talk to me. I was not a professional at ‘first time impression and conversations’. Those days the only talent I had, talk like a radio and do everything that has no meaning and importance.Sorry that is two talents. Such talent got me great rewards. Suspension, beating, ignored and etc etc. Long list.
She had to give me the damn pencil, earlier she was flaunting her big bunny pink pouch with some crazy stationary I had no idea about. The only object I could make out was the pencil. I had to return it too. The pencil came with some clause “return it before you leave this place and dare not chew it“. I proudly did both. Never returned it because I chewed it to the core. First Impressions. Passed. How ? She hates me now. A strong bond. Friends are forgotten, not enemy’s.
I would enjoy looking at her all day long, she had no choice but to ignore me. I would make it a point that she noticed me stalking her all day. Some teacher asked her to give her notebook to me so that I could copy her hard work to my notebook. Again no choice. I never did my homework. I was in a hostel, so was she. We both are in a boarding school. This is a real story. Okay. So where was I, yeah I never knew that homework existed. This time was different. I wanted to xerox everything.
Next Day : I am in the principal’s office. Waiting to get whipped. Why ? Remember the notebook I had taken from her. The cow ate it. Yes the Holy Cow. I left it on the bench to play football. Our school was also an unofficial zoo. I had no clue what to say.I got suspended for a week. In a boarding school, suspension meant no classes, no sports, no nothing dude. Just sit near the principal office like a non living thing. Not the first time I am being suspended from my regular life. I would miss her. No I didn’t. I was happy, the holy cow ate the book, now she will write it again. I enjoyed this.
She hated me. I would do anything to grab her attention. Doing good things will not attract good girls. Bad things will attract any thing in life. I don’t know how and when, we became awesome friends. The transition from enemy to friendship is not in my memory, it was a process, a continuous time taking process. I will recall someday and write about it. For now I just remember us having a ball and laughing like crazy.
Friendship-Love and a new enemy. Tri-angle love. Save it for later. How love happened and How it never happened.
zindagii yu bhii guzar hii jaatii // kyon teraa raah_guzar yaad aayaa – Ghalib.